I'VE MOVED

Hey Everybody -
I've been trying out the set up on a wordpress blog and am really liking it so I'm moving over there.  Feel free to come join me.
~Jessica
http://thesavingmom.wordpress.com/

Random...really random

(So glad we've made the decision to get the gallbladder taken out.  I am so sick of waking up most mornings with a sore side or falling asleep at night just praying it won't go into a full blown attack.  But the absolute worst that I am looking forward to no longer having to deal with is not having to nurse when having an attack.  Here's to really hoping that the surgeon gets the procedure scheduled quickly after I meet with him May 3rd!)
I watched a new show this week called 9byDesign.  It's about some people who renovate houses and have 6 kids and in the first episode a baby to be born.  I was telling Jordan about it later and saying that I really liked it in certain ways.  I love the fact that they weren't owned by their possessions, but rather it was about creativity and being together as a family.  I loved their design aesthetic.  Oh, I thought they were a little weird, but I'm sure they would think the same if they saw my family.  For me though, it was the same sort of inspiration that I get from hoarders.  More and more I desire to live a clean, uncluttered lifestyle.
I am really starting to read a lot of blogs and in an effort to trim down I am looking at prioritizing.  There is so much to know out there.  And I have so many interests.  From spiritual studies to cloth diapering to food to gardening and crafty projects, not to mention saving money...it's crazy.  I'm really interested to see what blogs others follow and why.    I have gone from reading books to reading blogs.  Which is okay for now, but I plan to get back to my real love someday.  Perhaps when Liam, Finn and I start going to the library more...
I feel really random today.  Full of lots of thoughts and feelings.  I want to write, but I have a ton I want to do to.  For now, I need to get outside and enjoy the beautiful morning...later today, hopefully making wetbags and then hanging out with hubby!  But, I might sneak back and write a few more thoughts.

Sagas...

The cloth diapering saga...
     So who would have guessed that I would love cloth diapering, so far anyway...  I am loving learning this whole new world and the new language.  From AIO to covers to pre-fold and flats it all interests me and I feel like I just want to know more.  My primary reason for cloth diapering is to benefit my household economically.  I am blessed to be a stay at home mom, but I have a job too.  My job is to keep our expenses low by budgeting, couponing and putting in a little elbow grease to make our finances work.  Of course that is all after the parenting, cooking and cleaning and most of all after the loving.  I really do think that loving is what actually makes it all work.  Back to the cloth diapering...it would be so easy to spend a fortune on this stuff.  Cute fabrics and patterns call your name as you search through websites.  I love reading what other moms have to say on what methods they use and why.  Sure, there is more wash to do and the changing time takes a little more effort, but it's not as difficult as I thought and Liam thinks it's very interesting.  I also think it is inspiring to really go for the potty training thing.  Before Liam was born I wanted to totally do elimination communication or diaper free baby.  I guess I just didn't prepare for it or go into it like I should have and in fact never really got there.  Now, I have been diapering Liam for 2 years and want to stat potty training.  With Finn, I am planning on doing a mix of CD & EC.  Having 2 potty trained little boys would really help our financial situation.  In the meantime, I will keep myself in check and not overbuy, but will throughly enjoy learning and getting the best deal in cloth diapering.
For those of you who are interested...
So far, I am using primarily pre-folds & flats on Finn with Thirsties & Flip covers.  I also have some small size gDiapers and both the disposable inserts as well as 3 fleece inserts.  On Liam I am using Flip cover with Flip inserts.  I am also beginning to use training undies with either a Rikki Wrap or perhaps Dappi cover as well as the Flip cover and maybe even a Happy Heiny.  I purchased several of these on diaperswappers.com from other moms...oh yeah, I am also getting to meet a new CD mom by picking up a small cover called wiggle worm tomorrow.  Very exciting...maybe I will have a new friend.

The education saga...
Okay, so this one may have a little to do with politics which I try not to mention too much, but feel in this case that I must say something.  As I learn about the things that are no longer being taught in our schools I am deeply saddened.  It seems like our history and the foundation of the country is being lost.  It is really important to Jordan and I that we and our children learn the truth of our heritage.  It is important to learn what gives us American Exceptionalism.  I have already started to teach Liam to recognize pictures of our founding fathers.  Tonight I was learning about the spiritualism of the signers of the declaration of independence.  Pretty amazing stuff.  I know our Father God has his hand in the beginning of this country and I know His hand is still upon it. It is important to breed love of this country and a spirit of duty into my children.  Jordan and I are praying for wisdom and guidance on what we need to do in regards to our children's education.  We live open to His suggestion.  Right now, I am learning alongside Liam.  I know what John Adams looks like...do you?

The gallstone saga...
Oh the pain.  I'm done.  I am pretty much uncomfortable all the time.  I have wanted to keep my gallbladder for so many reasons like if God put it there than there must be a good reason for it and it's not infected, couldn't I just clean up my lifestyle and eating habits.  However, I have reached the end of my rope.  During this last pregnancy I had a really rough road and know I can NEVER go through another pregnancy like that again.  I thought once Finn had made his entrance that maybe things would be better, but I have had several attacks since then and am just not what I want to be.  In talking with my RN this week she was telling me that the only natural way you can really go about stopping GS pain is to eat a NO fat diet.  She said her daughter had managed to avoid having her gallbladder out for 20 years by eating virtually no fat...as far as i am concerned why would I want to live that way, especially if you eventually have to get it taken out.  So, I will be meeting with a surgeon on May 3rd.  Little nervous, little excited...

The co-sleeping saga...
Okay, so I have no problem with co-sleeping and although I'm okay with my baby sleeping in my bed with me, overall, it isn't my most favorite thing.  I love the cuddle time.  I love the sweet smell of baby head.  I love the warmth of shared body heat.  The thing is...I'm tired.  I need a little me sleep time in order to really get rested.  With my little boy cuddled up next to me I don't have the freedom to move around as much as I would like and let me just tell you, that my new little darling is noisy.  He is a squeaker.  Sleeping with a squeaker doesn't make for the most restful sleep for a light sleeper like I have become.  Not really sue what to do at this point.  Perhaps I would be okay if I was more willing to accept co-sleeping.  For now though, I am just aiming to get a good night's sleep.

That's enough sagas for now.  I have a few more I will expound on another time.  For now I wish you a good night...

Balance

Hello world...I'm here!  That's what I feel like my little Finn says to me every morning.  His sweet little personality is so different than Liam's was...and equally wonderful and charming.  At first I thought Finn was easier than Liam, but I am discovering that that is not quite the case.  Finn knows what he wants and he demands it.  And mainly what he wants is to eat...and eat and eat.  Really though I don't think that it's that he's more difficult, it's that I don't have the kind of time I used to have.  Now that I have two wonderful little boys I have to learn even more about balance.  How do I balance my time between the two boys, my hubby, my house and myself?  This is a real learning curve.  So far, myself and the house have fallen close to the wayside.  I refuse to let them fall completely off the edge.  I will not be one of those woman that loses herself.  If I can get the much needed sleep I think I will be closer to finding the balance.
In the meantime I plan to enjoy the new little personality in my house.  I am choosing to treasure every minute I have with these little darlings because that is the gift that my husband has given to me.
Here are a few special things about my Finn...
-He loves to eat, but he eats way too quickly.  (This causes a lot of spit up and constant eating because he doesn't fill up enough.)
-He wants to stand...already!  Much like his brother Finn is really using those legs.
-He is also a big squirmer.  I find he already changes position in his crib.
-Finn loves to have his face kissed and I love kissing him!  
-He has this sweet little smile that just lights up my day.
  Now, I need to catch up on some of that sleep while Finn is drifting on the sleepytime river.


Thank You God for my beautiful sons!  I love their unique personalities so much.  I look forward to getting to know them more and more.  Father You are so good to me!

Creating wealth...not stealing it from others

Last night I dreamed of cloth diapering.  I am so excited about learning more about this new adventure.  I started another new adventure today with some friends of mine too.  This is the adventure of writing a collaborative book.  I am so excited about this too.
Tonight Jordan and I were watching a talk show on TV.  The person on the show is someone that is pretty wealthy.  They didn't get their wealth from someone else.  They got creative and found ways to make money.  We talked about how we weren't bothered by the fact he was rich.  We don't want to take his money from him. Our thought when we see someone like him is...wow!  What can we do to create our own wealth?  What ideas can we come up with that will produce wealth in our own lives?
I don't want to be a scammer off of society.  I want to live a life filled with wisdom from on high that I can do great things with and teach my children to live full lives full of blessing that they may be a blessing to others!

Cloth Diapering 100

WOW!  The more I look into this the more I see it's a whole 'nother world.  I am really excited about going this direction.  It seems like once I get the hang of it I am going to love it.  I am a little concerned about the initial investment.  Not that it's not worth it, but what do you buy first,etc and what do you buy over time as you can afford it.  
I think once I learn it all I have come up with a way to make money, but I won't post it on here...JIC.
For now, I have two S size gDiaper and two Flip diapers with 6 inserts.  I think my next purchase will be Econobum.  Here we go!  I am going to try to blog about the cloth diapering experience at least once a week.
So far this week I have tried the gDiapers on my 1 month old with a prefold insert instead of the disposable.  Pretty good, no leaks.  I am also planning on using the Flip covers over a fitted for potty training which I would like to start in the next few weeks for my two year old.
Will be updating...
  

Burned

Yesterday I burned both my thumbs.  It is so weird having blisters on both hands.  I feel like I can hardly grab things normally because I am afraid to burst them.  And once again I recognize how amazingly we are designed.  Can you imagine how difficult life would be without thumbs?  I wonder how many things I take for granted that are so simple as thumbs.
When you look at a newborn baby you notice all the little amazing things about them...the perfect nose, yummy belly and incredible fingers and toes.  Yet, when we look at ourselves we often look so critically.  We are amazing.  The way we have been created.  The things that are so special about each and every one of us.  These are the things we should be thankful for and celebrate.
2nd degree burn are not fun, but I choose today to see the bright side of things.  Thank you Lord for giving me thumbs!  I look forward to 2-3 weeks from now when these burns have healed.

Celebrating the little things...

Two days ago we had a snow storm.  Yesterday, we went outside to find some snow to play in.  Of course, living in Colorado with the way the sun is, it can be difficult to catch the snow before it melts.  We did find some and it was lovely.  I could never live somewhere always warm.  I need the snow.  I don't need too much, but I need enough to have a least one 'getouttawork' snow day a winter and a few cold days to make soup and the like. And being in the snow with my family is definitely one of the most fun things I can do.

I am working on very little sleep at the moment.  My newest one appears to be more and more like his father every day.  Which in this case means that he likes to be awake during the middle of the night.  I am a morning person, which means I like to be awake early in the morning and sleep during the night.  

Last night I was awake from just before 3 until 6:30AM trying to figure out what my little guy wanted and why he wouldn't sleep.  Turns out he just wanted to be awake.  So, my darling husband volunteered to get up with #1 son and let me and the little guy sleep.  Of course, what he meant was he would take Liam downstairs and sleep on the couch while Liam played.  Only thing is he doesn't answer the phone when it rings, which is what made me get up around 8:30 this morning.  Okay, enough whining.  When I came down, I sent Jordan back up to get some real sleep and started hanging out with my boys.  Shortly after coming down Finn went back up and Liam and I got to spend some real quality time.  We strung beads and made French toast.  We read stories and cuddled.  Spending time with my children is such a wonderful blessing.  Of course, in the middle of night I can't say that I was really enjoying the quality time Finn and I were spending.  But thinking back on it now I can say...how blessed am I?  I am blessed to not have to worry about getting up the next morning.  I can take casual time.  I can make French toast with my son and I can do without the perfect sleep and I can nap when they nap.  I am richly blessed.

Today I celebrate spending time with my boys.  Thank you Lord; it couldn't be better!

Flying

When I was a little girl I dreamed about being able to fly.  I had many, many dreams that I was able to fly in.  I also used to lay on the floor and close my eyes and I found if I held my body just so I got this weird sensation I imagined to be flying.  Flying was something I always wished God had given us as a gift.  Little did I realize...
Now that I'm "all grown up"  I realize that God did give us the gift of flying...time!  People say time flies and it means nothing.  My last few years have gone by so quickly I can hardly believe.
Tonight I'm reflecting on the last two years because tomorrow is my first born's second birthday.  My little boy is so precious and so sweet.  He has changed my life forever by making it better than I could ever have imagined.  I am so in love.  And I'm a better person.  I am more patient, more relaxed and more caring than I ever was before.  It's funny how you want your "little reflections" to reflect something good and so you do things to improve yourself.    I am a work in progress.  May God use me to be a a good reflection of who He is that my babies may see Him clearly and become reflections of Him themselves.  Thank you God for Liam.  He is such a treasure to me!

So much to say...

WOW...it's been weeks since I've blogged anything.  I have certainly had many things I've wanted to write about, but I've found that my hands have been pretty much full...that and last week I didn't really have a house to call my own.
This week things are getting back to normal...a new normal for us.  This is Jordan's last full week of vacation before he has to return back to work next Thursday.  And it's our last week, just us.  His parents arrive Saturday evening and we are so excited for them to meet our new addition.
Our new addition, Finnley John Hanneman "Finn" was born Monday February 22, 2010 at 6:11AM.  I was hoping this birth would be a bit easier than my first, but I didn't expect it to be as easy as it was.  Really, the labor was not easy, but with one push my new little boy jumped out and didn't tear or anything.  In fact, my first words were "Boy, that was easy."  With Liam's birth I was so worn out afterwards that I barely remember many of the things that happened afterwards.  This time I was pretty clear headed and able to enjoy the family meeting Finn.
In our house they have removed the mold and repaired all the damage.  We have a new couch and new lights, fresh paint and for a couple of poor kids pinching pennies we sure feel rich.  We are rich!  We've been blessed with an awesome marriage, two wonderful, beautiful boys and a loving supportive family.  Things are just things and everything that is important we have.  Granted, it was hard waiting for them to finish the work on our living room.  It was not too fun spending the days upstairs and the evenings at my parents.  Worth the wait though.  I would definitely recommend All Set Restoration to anybody that needs to have work done.  They really took care of us.
I did have one gall stone attack since Finn's birth and it was a rough one.  That day I started thinking about my husband's hands.  It struck me during labor too, but I wasn't quite clear enough at that point to form it into a logical thought.  Anyway, as he rubbed his hands over my face to calm and relax me I noticed how rough they are and yet so healing.  I stated to think that that is something like what Jesus' hands must have felt like.  Rough, but gentle.  Cool and soothing.  They were the thing I longed for as I was in pain.  Jesus, a carpenter, must have had rough hands.  I mean, I can't imagine him lotion-ing up every night.  Those rough hands are the hands that bring us healing.  We can trust our lives to be gently taken care of.  He will soothe our pain and it is in His touch we will find our healing.
Well, I've gotten in as much as I can for today.  I have more to add, but my life is already busier than it ever was before and life is calling.  Now, for another day...

Waiting on baby...

Sitting here on the computer waiting for baby number 2.  The day I want this child born on starts in 27 minutes.  Will it happen?  Probably not, but I am still hoping against hope.
Today we got a new couch (to replace the one with mold).  We cleaned our bedroom.  Installed the new microwave we were given and throughly enjoyed our day.  Now, I just want to lay around and relax, but no such thing for Jordan...oh, he'd be happy if I did that, but I don't want to do it by myself.  I suppose I should go clean our entryway.  It'd be another thing I could check off my list.  I wasn't planning on finishing my list, but if this baby waits too long, it just might happen.  I would definitely prefer the baby.  And that is the story for tonight.
Oh God, I trust Your timing.  I give this baby's birth into Your hands.  You know what I desire.  I turn to Your will and let it go.  Have Your way!

All things work together for good...

Romans 8:28 -Because I know this scripture by heart from the New King James version I usually go with that, but today I was looking at other versions just to see how they worded it.  The Message just clicked with my situation today so I thought I would put it up today.  It actually includes verses 26-28.

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Two days ago my son threw something behind the couch.  Normally, we try to distract him because we don't feel like moving the couch, but this time Jordan just felt like getting it.  (I really believe that there are times the spirit of God nudges us to do things...when we listen things work out...when we don't we face the consequences.)   As he started to move the couch, he noticed that the side of it was wet.  Did you spill something here?, he asked me.  Not that I know of, I said. Well, it turns out that there was a lot of water...in the wall, in the carpet and in our couch.  After doing some investigation we found out that the back of that wall sort of belongs to our neighbor and the boards are rotted.  They are rotted because the drain pipes on the roof are not cleaned often enough and they don't hold the water properly.  Water has been spilling down the wall and pooling at the bottom...from the pool, it's been leaking into our house.  Initially, we thought this was the first time, but lo and behold we discovered that there is mildew in the wall, under the carpet and along the bottom of the couch, which means that this problem has been happening time and again.
Normally,this wouldn't be that big of a deal, but this week knowing I am about to give birth and bring a new baby home...not real exciting.
Here's the good news...
#1 - Because the rotted wood is from the outside it is the responsibility of the HOA to resolve the issue.  Not only that, but it was reported last year by my neighbor and they did nothing, so it is even more their issue.
#2 - They are currently doing a siding project on all our buildings and may have put off the rotted boards because they planned to do them now.  If they had fixed the boards and we hadn't noticed the water we may have found mold later and had NO IDEA the source.  It would have been fix at our expense, and never know why.
#3 - One of the workers broke a lamp of ours I have been wanting to replace, but since it worked wasn't worth spending money on.  Now, I am getting a new lamp.
#4 - My children will not be breathing in mold.  This is major.  Our nurse told us that can cause failure to thrive.  God is always looking out for their health and ours.
There is more.  We just feel the love of God...other than a few moments, where I've let myself lose sight, we have felt so taken care of.  And the thing is that God is always like that.  How many times do we just see the frustration in an issue instead of the blessing?  I want to encourage you today to take stock of you life.  Where can you see God's hand at work?  Where ca you see His handiwork?  Let go of the anger and frustration and let yourself fall into the loving arms of one who cares more for you than anything.  Allow yourself to be taken care of today!
Thank you God!  Thanks a million!

Lazy Goggles

I am starting to notice more and more how things accumulate in corners, on tables and counter tops and sit there for weeks and weeks. Why does this happen?

I know how. You come home from somewhere and set something down and it just sits there until you have the energy or time or mainly inclination to deal with it. And the piles grow as thing after thing get put on top. I hate this. I want to live in an uncluttered home. I can clean my house. I can keep things picked up, but my home will always have this messy feel if I don't attend to the corners and counters. Sure I have a lot of good excuses right now, but let's be honest...this isn't a new problem. Many people have a new year's goal or a new week's goal or whatever. I have to start and restart these goals over and over. Unless, I make it a habit (then I don't have to start over quite so often). My goal is to get uncluttered. My goal is to stay uncluttered. A Proverbs 31 woman doesn't have a cluttered house. A cluttered house makes for cluttered thinking. I refuse to be a cluttered person anymore. I may have to restart this goal a few times over the next few months until I get a habit established.

My dad always had a saying that used to drive me crazy because it could be overwhelming, but I think it's time to adopt it. EHAH -> Everything Has A Home

Today everything on the dining room table, the kitchen counter and the entryway will find it's way into it's proper home. Once again - no more excuses. I have a goal and I want to be uncluttered. I want to think clearer. I want to set a good example for my children. It's time to take off the lazy goggles that stop seeing the clutter and get a clear view of what is all around me. Colossians 3:22-25

Servants, do what you're told by your earthly masters. And don't just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you'll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the

ultimate Master you're serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn't cover up bad work.

Lord - I am your servant. I want to reflect you in all that I do. Help me to un-clutter my life and keep it that way. I want to be clear and shiny. Help me to stop ignoring the clutter and get a clear viewpoint of my life. I know I can do this through your strength and your wisdom. Thank you for the energy to get it all done. Love you Lord!

Real friends are so important

Amazing how much a friend can affect your life. They can help change your attitude. They are what you really need.

Tonight Jenn came over for the second Tuesday in a row. I like have a standing date with a friend. Being an at home mom can be really lonely. Especially in winter...especially when really, really pregnant. Getting out of the house can be a hard thing to do. I love being at home. I am blessed. I still get lonely. And there aren't a lot of stay at home moms currently in my circle. So, my friends circle isn't really growing at the moment. I thank God for the real friends I have.

I have certain friends who don't live anywhere near me and some I haven't seen in years, but I know as soon as we get together we are still just as close as ever. There are some who I see more often, but with life changes we just aren't as close as we once were.

Some friends we have are just for a season...some are for a lifetime. For a friendship to be strong it needs to be nurtured. I think I need to evaluate the friendships in my life and see what I can do to nurture the important ones. Each of us have a love language. What do my friends need from me? What can I do to be a better friend? How can I teach my children to be the kind of people others want as a friend?

What are some qualities you think make a good friend? I would love some thoughts on this to expand my thinking.

Jenn - you are a great friend and I am so glad to have you in my life! Thanks for dinner and hanging out.

Blogging during bathtime...

Since I can't bend properly and get involved with Liam during today's morning bath I am taking advantage of the free time to set some thoughts down while I sit beside him...

Just days now until another little one joins our home. I am excited and nervous. What will this one be like? I am hoping in many ways like Liam. He really is the kind of child that would make people want to have more. He was such a good baby. We were blessed beyond measure. Of course I don't want a copy, but there are some similarities that would be really nice. I know Liam will be a good teacher as long as Jordan doesn't teach him to many bad habits...just kidding.

I go back to the scripture...Psalm 139:13-16

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;

you formed me in my mother's womb.

I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!

Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

I worship in adoration—what a creation!

You know me inside and out,

you know every bone in my body;

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,

how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;

all the stages of my life were spread out before you,

The days of my life all prepared

before I'd even lived one day.

Many times I like to go back to the New King James bible when I am recalling a scripture I am remembering since childhood, but I just love the way The Message says it here.

To think what God has done inside of me. This little one about to come has already been shaped by God. None of us can escape what He has already done in us. Every single person on this planet was made this way...every one. I think sometimes we need to recall this as we look at others around...they too were formed by God. No matter how good or how awful they seem. Looking at the world through those eyes gives you a different reality to enjoy.

I have been pretty grumpy the last two days or so. Sure there are lots of reasons and some of them are even valid, but the anger and frustration was all based towards other people. No more. Today is another NEW DAY. I will see through His eyes today. Because He has made life inside of me; because I get to be a part of His great project and plan; because He knows me and loves me anyway I will celebrate.

Thank you God for a fresh outlook for today. Thank you that I can start today looking through your eyes. Thank you for Liam. He is such a treasure and a joy to me. Help me to parent him the way You parent me. Thank you for this new life inside of me. Thank you for using me as your vessel. The love You have bestowed on us is so amazing. Lord, I'm amazed by You! I start today trusting You because You after all are the alpha and omega and nothing can compare to You!

What they would choose...

When given the following two bad choices which would the majority of men choose...

Choice #1 - To be alone and unloved

Choice #2 - Inadequate and disrespected

They would choose choice number 1. Most women would choose to be disrespected rather than unloved. Does this seem weird that we are on such opposite sides of this choice? What's the reasoning behind it? To a man RESPECT is everything. Contrary to Areatha Franklin's song to a woman LOVE is everything. Not that we both don't want to feel it all, but given one of two bad choices surveys say that our priorities are such.

Do you agree with this information? The first time I read it (a couple of years ago), I asked Jordan what he thought and he totally agreed. Yikes, I thought, how often do I not make him feel respected? One of the major things I used to do was make fun of his sense of direction in front of others. I never knew how much this hurt him. It actually made him feel like less of a man even though I said it all in fun. It told him that I didn't trust him and said the same to others (at least in Jordan's point of view -especially when it comes to other men). WOW - that's never something I want to do to my husband. I want him to feel how much I do trust him and support him and rely on him. How can I do this...tell him, with my words, but especially my actions.

Since having a child more and more things have come along that could really reinforce my trust or disrespect him more. Because mom always knows best...right? No, sometimes another way is not the wrong way, just a different way. We moms need to recognize this and make it a priority to acknowledge that even though baby didn't get dressed in the PJ's we would have chosen they are in PJ's, their teeth are brushed and they are ready for bed. We need to say thank you more often and brag about him in front of others. I'm not talking about not addressing issues, but I am talking about being aware of how to communicate those issues.

My section from Proverbs 31 woman that I am working on this week is...

Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.

Armed with the above information it would be really easy to do things to hurt our men in a moment of anger or frustration. That is being spiteful. We need to go out of our way to be kind to our husbands even when they act like jerks. Generous is how this version of the Bible puts it.

Even though I am due in a little over a week and feel tired and worn out I am making it my goal this week to go out of my way to be generous to my husband. What can I do to make him feel like a MAN? How can I show him I trust him? What can I do to make sure I am never spiteful?

I would love it if you would join me in this venture and give me some examples of what you can or will do. I'd also love to see if you have any interesting responses to your actions/words.

For me this week it's about making RESPECT my goal!

Around 13 years ago...

Today is the anniversary of Jordan and my first kiss. Funny that it falls on a holiday...Groundhog's Day. I guess we like holidays. We don't plan things on them, but important things seems to happen on them. First kiss, engagement, first born child...maybe the next one too. I like small holidays made large.

Feeling pretty rough today. This baby is pressing so hard against my internal organs. I am excited about giving birth, but I do want this little one to stay in until the right time. I am just having a harder and harder time sleeping and doing when I am awake. Poor Liam...I need to give him more to do that doesn't involve me chasing him everywhere 'cause it's not happening. I think tomorrow will be a homemade play dough day. YAY! for homemade art projects.

A little catch up

So, I am actually posting this at night...I know, but it's because I have been off of the computer for two days. Another gall stone attack...all my fault. I just wasn't thinking. I went out to eat and ordered one of my favorite meals (french dip). As I finished the last bite, I thought to myself...now why did you order that? All meat -NOT GOOD. And sure enough within a few hours of eating it the attack started. So, I was out of commission for a whole day again. Pretty much my weekend was shot AGAIN.

Now I am going to take control of my week and do my best to accomplish things on my list...which means I may not be posting much this week, but you never know what will inspire me.

We actually found out at our Dr.'s appt this week what we are having, but we decided since it's so close we're going to make it a surprise for everyone else. It did enable us to go shopping for an outfit to take the baby home in today. We found the cutest thing, on the clearance rack. Plus, I had a few dollars left on a gift card that I was able to use. Now, I have something to wash and pack in the bag I MUST pack this week. Very exciting!

Because of the attack, I did not get my haircut so hopefully something will work out this week to get that done, because I really don't want to go into labor with my current hair. Too thick, too full and too, too much. Also, I really want to color it after it gets cut before labor. Fingers crossed!

No More HOARDING...on the inside

After two days of being laid up with the stomach flu and spending time recovering from all the aches and pains associated with it I am back on countdown to baby. Am really wondering if the baby has dropped because the lower pressure has really increased today. I keep hoping this little one will stay in until it's due date, but at the same time I am not sure if it's going to happen. Last appointment with our regular OB on Friday...although we have a few more scheduled after that with some others.

The renewed feeling of energy today reminds me of one of my favorite scriptures and it will be my focus today.

Psalm 103:1-5

1Bless the LORD, O my soul;

And all that is within me, bless His holy name!

2 Bless the LORD, O my soul,

And forget not all His benefits:

3 Who forgives all your iniquities,

Who heals all your diseases,

4 Who redeems your life from destruction,

Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,

5 Who satisfies your mouth with good things,

So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Try saying that first verse over and over with different inflections and volumes. I can't believe how much it centers me. When I do this I call to the deep part inside of me. What does it mean -and ALL that is within me-? What is all? Are there parts of me that I have been holding back from God? I don't want there to be, but every time I go here I find something else. Maybe they are new things...maybe things really old and deeply buried. Whatever they are they need to come into the light and bless the name of the Lord! I think this is a good exercise to do every few weeks or months. Getting yourself cleaned out is like cleaning out your house. Have you ever watched that show Hoarders? I think people do that in their lives too. We hoard garbage inside of ourselves until we aren't even aware of what we are doing. Some things may be valuable, but are buried so deeply by other junk that we can't make use of it. Some things just need to be disposed of. We need to clean ourselves out regularly so we don't become hoarders of junk inside.

Looking forward to a day of cleaning...both inside myself and in my house!

Dear Lord - I bless Your name today. Help me to do it with ALL that is within me. Help me to rid myself of junk so that ALL that is within me is good stuff worthy of being a part of Your vessel. You are such an amazing God! Thank you for all you've done for me!

Where is my mind?

I am going to continue on with my Proverbs 31 woman goals, but I don't want to go too fast. It's too important to me, so that will only be a weekly part of my post. I want to spend time focusing on each goal and really changing my life.

I have so many areas of my life that I want to improve and make better that it feels like I could spend all my time writing about. But the scripture I am focusing on today is Philippians 4:8-9 which reads - Summing it all up friends, I'd say you'll do your best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious -the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into His most excellent harmonies.

Which means today that I am focusing on the good only. I will not be taken down by anything else.

So, what can I focus on? For starters, my God! The Creator of the universe has taken His time to create me. I am a creation of the most high God. When I really think about that it makes me take my view off of my failures and shortcomings because I was made by HIM. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. It's easy to think about that when we think about kids and babies, but what about thinking about that when we think about us. We aren't missing anything. He has not failed in making us. He has not failed in making me. WOW! Changes the way you look at yourself when you really think about it. And all the things He has done. Too numerous to name, too numerous to count, but amazing as you focus all that He is!

My children - God has known them before He formed them in my womb. He has prepared a way for them. I heard a great quote and even though I do not know who said it I am applying it to all of my children. -You're going to take long strides on the surface of this earth and with every step you're going to change the world.- I feel like God has told me to claim this for my kids. They are such a gift to me. Over and over the Bible mentions how blessed a man is that has a quiver full of arrows (a bunch of kids). With one already and another one coming shortly we are feeling even more and more blessed!

Just focusing on these two things today will fill my mind and heart with joy!

Thank you God for who You are and that You never change! Thank You that I can trust You completely. My life is in your hands. Please help me to keep my mind focused on You and everything You have for me. I love You!

A Proverbs 31 woman?

Every time I read Proverbs 31 I feel a bit overwhelmed. Is it really possible for this woman to exist? And is it really possible for me to be this woman? It must be. I just need to discover how. Perhaps if I break it down into goals and try to accomplish one at a time...

GOAL ONE - A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.

I really do believe that my husband has every reason to trust me, but I guess I think there are areas in my life that I want to make sure he never even has to think about if I did something he asked or kept up on my part of our home care. SO my goal for this upcoming week will be to re-examine every area of my life and see if there is anything I can improve upon in regards to areas Jordan trusts me to take care of. Am I falling short? Are things okay? How can I go above and beyond?

Anyone have any ideas?

Lord - You know all and see all. Help me to look at my life and see areas for improvement. I want to be all you created me to be. I want to live out my life reflecting you, especially to my family. Teach me what it means to be a totally trustworthy person in every area of my life, not just the ones that are easily seen. I want to be just like You are. Open my eyes to see if I really trust You without reserve. If there are areas of my life that I don't trust You in, help me to. I believe the only way I can be the kind of wife I want to be is to really know and reflect You.

Thank You for your patience with me. Thank You for working with my clay again and shaping me into Your vessel! I love You Lord.

Ask, Seek, Knock

Honestly, after the great morning I had yesterday you would think that I would look positively on getting up early this morning. I guess in my mind I had getting up early as after 6AM at least, especially while I am pregnant. However, after getting up 2 times in the night to put Liam back in bed (plus all my bathroom waking up) and then having to deal with Jordan's snoring every time in order to fall back to sleep I was not thrilled to have Liam come in wide awake at 5:20 this morning. I probably could have gotten him back to sleep, but Jordan was already in the bathroom getting ready and the light spurred on Liam's desire to be awake. I am so exhausted. I do not want to be grumpy or angry, but in some ways I am so jealous of Jordan. He sleeps through everything...doesn't need to get up & pee several times a night and doesn't have to deal with a toddler who DID NOT get enough sleep. I wonder if we are putting Liam to bed to early. Actually, I think he still needs two naps a day, but refuses. He slept so much better when he was still doing 2.

Okay, enough complaining. Sometimes you just have to get a little out of your system, but I choose to move on from that place. It is my choice. Today is a new day. I'm sure I will find plenty of opportunities to be thankful and grateful if I just focus on looking for them.

In fact, looking at Liam's bright little smile is enough to put a smile on my face. I will forget my dreams (they weren't so great) from last night and turn my eyes to the Son that I might see light and brightness all around me. I also have the chance to get more crossed off my list because of all this extra non-sleeping time. Perhaps Jordan will take the initiative and let me have a little sleep in this weekend.

My scripture to focus on today -

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”-Matthew 7:7 & 8

My prayer for today -

Lord, I thank you for this new day! I ask today that I will see you in all that I do. Help me to seek you in the little moments of today, not just the big adventures. I am knocking at your door; let it be open to me so I might walk through into all You've called me to. Thank You for my beautiful son. Help me to teach him to ask, seek and knock that he might know You more than just a story, but an actual person that he can have a real relationship with. Thank You for my amazing husband. Give him peace and joy as he goes about his day today. Let him feel Your presence as He interacts with others and help him to exude You. Thank You for this baby growing inside of me. You are the greatest gift giver! I look forward to meeting this little person You have sent our way. Thank You for providing health and joy for this baby already.

You are an awesome God! You are worthy of all my praise! I bless Your name!

Accomplishments

I always try to write these at night and never finish them because night time is not my time. I admit it, I am an early morning person. I always feel better and more productive when I get up and get myself going first thing in the AM. True, this doesn't necessarily always work with being pregnant. Sometimes I just want to sleep the day away.

It seems to me in the Bible that great things always got accomplished when they got up early in the morning. Those I read about were people of accomplishment especially the Proverbs 31 woman. I wonder why accomplishment is becoming such a big theme in my life right now. Maybe it's that I am 30 now. Maybe it's because I have no outside goal to accomplish. Perhaps the fact that I have to make my own way completely. I want my kids to be people of accomplishment and with me doing nothing I would be a really bad example. I need to focus in on what God has for me and run for it. I know being a Proverbs 31 woman is a major thing.

A while back I watched an episode of Joyce Meyers and got so inspired by a prayer she encouraged us all to pray. Then it fell by the wayside, but when I was cleaning my room this week I found it again and so I pray it today with all my heart.

Lord, show me what you would have of me. Speak Lord for your servant is listening that I might obey!

The Prayer

Today I take responsibility for my life. No more blaming, no more excuses; I take responsibility. It's a new day. I will never be the same. My past will not dictate my future. It stops right here with me. If anybody is going to do anything about my life, it's going to be me, so that I'm a responsible person!

Lord, I give you praise for enabling me to be all that you made me to be. I am Yours. I am ready to be used by You. Have Your way in my life. I will not hold You back from doing whatever You want to do with me.

James 1:22-25